After once giving up on English, Eunae found a reason to try again. Through ESOL classes, daily practice, and persistence, she is finding the words to express herself.
“In my first year, I couldn’t even say one word. Now, speaking in sentences feels normal.”
— Eunae
When Eunae thinks about how far her English has come, she measures it simply.
In her first year in the United States, she says she couldn’t say even one word. Two years later, speaking in sentences has become normal.
Getting there has meant continuing to try, even when the words don’t come easily.
Eunae grew up in South Korea, where English was a required subject beginning in middle school for her generation. But she never felt that what she learned was enough.
Eventually, she stopped trying.
Eunae said she had “completely given up on English.”
That changed when she came to the United States.
Living in an English-speaking country gave Eunae a reason to return to a language she had once given up on.
She saw it as an opportunity.
“I think English is the perfect language for all expressions,” she said.
At Project Learn, she began taking ESOL classes. Her instructor, Joe Younger, has become an important part of her experience.
“Joe is truly an admirable mentor to me,” she said.
But when Eunae talks about her progress, she comes back to something she has done herself, day after day.
“I didn’t give up. I learned and tried every day.”
— Eunae
Those efforts haven’t made every conversation easy. Sometimes Eunae knows what she wants to say but finds that saying it aloud is something entirely different.
She writes about those moments, too.
In an essay titled Using Another Language Is Always Uncomfortable, Eunae describes an ordinary trip to the bank.
She knows what she wants to ask for. But when she tries to say it, pronunciation gets in the way. Suddenly, she is thinking not only about the words, but about her expression, her eyes, and even what her whole body is doing as she tries to make herself understood.
Then her reflection takes an unexpected turn.
“One comforting truth is that, even in my own language, discomfort has always been there.”
— Eunae
For Eunae, the experience becomes about more than English.
Communication can be uncomfortable in any language. What matters is continuing to make the effort.
And that is what she has been doing.
Eunae doesn’t describe her future goal in terms of a particular job, degree, or test score.
She describes the kind of communicator she hopes to become.
“To someone, someday, in front of anyone, I want to say kindly and clearly.”
— Eunae
She wants that same confidence in her writing—to be able to put her thoughts into English without hesitation.
Two years into learning English in the United States, Eunae isn’t saying that every word comes easily.
But she knows that something has changed.
The woman who once felt she couldn’t say a word is speaking in sentences.
She is writing essays.
And she keeps trying.
Using Another Language Is Always Uncomfortable
By Eunae
In fact, Using another language is always uncomfortable
For example, When I withdraw money at the bank, I want to say a simple sentence, "Please withdraw fifty dollars in five bills."
But, In reality, I said "Five dollars bill and fifty" or "fifty five dollars" like this.
What a terrible!
The first huddle is my pronunciation. Fifty.. bibtty.. Fifth..Ha..
The second huddle is all of my whole attitude - my face, my eyebrow my eye and entire my body
What is the guilty for the kind banker who has to understand my wired English? I'm making tired that one banker's business.
But, one comforting truth is that, even in my own language, discomfort has always been there.
All words, actions, and communication must always need careful.
Eventually, uncomfortable has not connection with language, It comes from my underneath.
Today, again, I still struggle uncomfortable, also I make an effort advance.
That is, I believe right in life.
This essay is published with permission from the author.
